{"id":807,"date":"2011-05-12T23:16:25","date_gmt":"2011-05-13T05:16:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/?p=807"},"modified":"2011-05-12T23:16:25","modified_gmt":"2011-05-13T05:16:25","slug":"the-names-we-call-ourselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/2011\/05\/12\/the-names-we-call-ourselves\/","title":{"rendered":"The Names We Call Ourselves"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"PEPPERS_photo_8642_20081224\"What\u2019s in a name? And what names do you call yourself?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

First, the story of two kinds of Pepper
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

A few years ago, I met a young teenager who was bagging groceries for me. I saw from her name tag that her name was Pepper. \u201cThat\u2019s a very unique name,\u201d I said cheerfully. When she didn\u2019t smile back, I asked her if she liked her name. \u201cNot really,\u201d she said glumly, looking down at the floor.<\/p>\n

Just a couple of days later, I met another Pepper (what are the chances of that?). This Pepper was a phone rep who was answering a question for me about my phone bill. She was upbeat and happy, and I couldn\u2019t resist asking her the same question\u2014did she like her name? \u201cI love my name!\u201d she said. She told me that she had actually changed her name to Pepper because she had a difficult time in junior high school. So in order to make herself \u201cmore perky\u201d and put some \u201cspice\u201d into her life, she adopted \u201cPepper.\u201d What a contrast\u2014one girl felt imprisoned by her name; the other liberated by it.<\/p>\n

At a book signing on the East Coast, the importance of names came up again when I met a woman who introduced herself as Irene. She had a foreign accent and when I asked her where she was from, she told me she had come to the United States from Poland 17 yrs ago with her family. At the time, she had known only three words of English and, she confessed, she had cried a lot.<\/p>\n

As I went to sign a copy of my book Honor Yourself <\/em>for her, I asked her for her name. That\u2019s when she told me that years ago she had started calling herself Irene so people would stop mispronouncing and misspelling her name. But her real name was \u201cIrena.\u201d<\/p>\n

She spoke that name in beautiful, soft accents, as if she had reached into her heart and shared with me a precious part of herself that she had been hiding away. I could see that \u201cIrena\u201d reflected who she really was and that perhaps she had been sacrificing that secret self in her attempt to fit into her new environment.<\/p>\n

I shared with her that my new book is about honoring ourselves deeply in ways that really matter. She stopped for a moment, then said, mostly to herself, \u201cMaybe I should use my real name now.\u00a0 \u2018Irena\u2019 makes me feel happy.\u201d A huge smile broke out on her face. As she said goodbye and walked away, she turned back to look at me, her face still lit up with thoughts of \u201cIrena,\u201d and she said, \u201cThank you. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Power of the Names We Call Ourselves<\/strong><\/p>\n

Those incidents got me thinking about the power in our names and how we think about our names\u2014and, even more importantly, the power of the \u201cnames\u201d (the labels) we give ourselves. I mean those demeaning names we sometimes use to castigate ourselves in moments of frustration (as in \u201cWhat were you thinking, you stupid idiot moron!).<\/p>\n

I started to wonder what would happen if I paid more attention to what I called myself to make sure it resonated with the person I really was deep down\u2014with that precious part of me that begs to be honored, respected, and nurtured. What would happen if I talked to myself as tenderly as I do to my kitties or as gently as I would talk to a vulnerable little child who is lost\u2014or as respectfully as I would speak to a king or a queen?<\/p>\n

We all want to honor ourselves more, and the names we give ourselves is a good place to practice.<\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Replacing Criticism with Compassion<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere there is criticism, there is not complete love.\u201d
\n\u2014Supermundane: The Inner Life <\/em>(Book I, 1938)<\/p>\n

When we love another, we don\u2019t criticize her or put her down; we encourage and support her. Likewise, when we love ourselves, we don\u2019t criticize ourselves; we encourage and support ourselves. Remember, the real you is a spark of the Divine\u2014worthy of the greatest love and honor.<\/p>\n

Try this:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n