{"id":482,"date":"2010-06-28T06:44:32","date_gmt":"2010-06-28T06:44:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/?p=482"},"modified":"2010-07-26T05:14:43","modified_gmt":"2010-07-26T05:14:43","slug":"do-you-know-how-to-receive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/2010\/06\/28\/do-you-know-how-to-receive\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Know How to Receive?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWe must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.” \u2014Thomas Merton<\/em><\/p>\n

Giving is great, but is it always <\/em>better than receiving? Is giving better than receiving if our giving ends up knocking us flat on our backs, compromising our ability to give with resilience to others?<\/p>\n

When those of us who are out-of-balance givers wake up to the truth that giving isn\u2019t always better than receiving, we want to know how we can start to receive. At my recent book signings in New York and Connecticut for my book Honor Yourself: The Inner Art of Giving and Receiving<\/em>,<\/strong><\/a> that was certainly the theme. People were asking me: \u201cWhat can I do to become a better receiver?\u201d They really wanted to turn around their habit of not being able to say no to others. Like many of us, they were so good at keeping track of everyone and everything that they had lost track of themselves. It\u2019s a syndrome I\u2019ve come to call \u201csacrifice on demand.\u201d<\/p>\n

My book goes deeply into that subject from many different angles, but here are three keys I talked about at my recent book signings that can help you start practicing a healthy habit of receiving.<\/p>\n

1. <\/strong>Ask for support\u2014and look at it as a sign of strength. <\/strong>
\nThose of us who give a lot also tend to be shy about asking for support when we need it. You might think that asking for support means that you are weak. That\u2019s not true. In fact, when appropriate, asking for support is a sign of strength, and a sign of great love. Why? When you seek support in making the best decisions, it means you care about those who will be affected by your choices. Not only that, but by asking for support you are saying to yourself, \u201cI am worthy of receiving.\u201d<\/p>\n

ASK YOURSELF: <\/strong>Where can I use some support in my life?<\/strong>
\n<\/em>Remember, support comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe it\u2019s asking a spouse to make dinner, asking a neighbor to help you lift something heavy in your yard, getting guidance from a trainer for the right exercise routine, or talking through an important decision with someone who has expertise in that arena.<\/p>\n

2. <\/strong>Get passionate.<\/strong> One of the reasons you may find yourself constantly getting bumped off your own to-do list is that you don\u2019t have a passion that makes it clear\u2014to yourself and to others\u2014what\u2019s the centerpiece of your life right now. When you have a burning desire to accomplish something, you bet it gets a top spot on your to-do list. What\u2019s not a priority at the moment then naturally falls to the bottom of the list.<\/p>\n

ASK YOURSELF: <\/strong>What\u2019s my magnificent obsession?<\/strong> <\/em>There\u2019s a good article in the June 2010 issue of Psychology Today<\/em> called \u201cGo Ahead, Obsess!\u201d by Eric Maisel and Ann Maisel. (It’s not yet posted online but you can get it on news stands.) I love their take on engaging in \u201ca productive obsession,\u201d which they define as \u201cputting yourself wholeheartedly into a useful and meaningful passion.\u201d Check it out for some inspiration.<\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t wait for someone to give to you\u2014give to yourself.
\n<\/strong>The most important person who will ever give to you IS you, and it’s the simple things that make the biggest difference. One day, after a particularly challenging week, I decided to buy myself a bunch of roses. I looked for that beautiful shade of yellow-peach that I love. Later that week, someone was in my kitchen, saw the roses, and asked, \u201cWho gave you those flowers? What\u2019s the occasion?\u201d That gave me the opportunity to affirm out loud what my little present to myself was really all about. \u201cI bought them for myself,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m celebrating . . . myself!\u201d\u00a0 Those roses made me smile every time I saw them. More than that, buying them was a way of affirming to myself: \u201cI value you, and you deserve these!\u201d<\/p>\n

ASK YOURSELF: <\/strong>What gifts will I give myself today?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I invite you to join the conversation and share your thoughts . . .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWe must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.” \u2014Thomas Merton Giving is great, but is it always better than receiving? Is giving better than receiving if our giving ends up knocking us flat on our backs, compromising our ability to give with resilience to others? When […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[19,18,12],"tags":[14,20,88,123,110,97,60,96],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=482"}],"version-history":[{"count":34,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":597,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions\/597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}