{"id":1132,"date":"2012-09-14T23:35:53","date_gmt":"2012-09-15T05:35:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/?p=1132"},"modified":"2012-09-14T23:35:53","modified_gmt":"2012-09-15T05:35:53","slug":"the-razors-edge-of-self-esteem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/2012\/09\/14\/the-razors-edge-of-self-esteem\/","title":{"rendered":"The Razor&#8217;s Edge of Self-Esteem"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-content\/uploads\/Balance_Yoga_stock.xchng_.1098576_15247527_sm.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-1134\" style=\"margin: 6px;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-content\/uploads\/Balance_Yoga_stock.xchng_.1098576_15247527_sm-212x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"212\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-content\/uploads\/Balance_Yoga_stock.xchng_.1098576_15247527_sm-212x300.jpg 212w, https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-content\/uploads\/Balance_Yoga_stock.xchng_.1098576_15247527_sm.jpg 255w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 212px) 100vw, 212px\" \/><\/a>Self-esteem\u2019s a funny thing\u2014a fine balancing act. You\u2019ve got to believe you are wonderful just as you (<em>because you are<\/em>) AND you\u2019ve got to keep on trying to improve yourself (<em>because you can reach higher and be more<\/em>).<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s perhaps the ultimate razor\u2019s edge of life\u2014balancing confidence with humility. Knowing when to stand up for yourself and when to back down because you have something yet to learn. Taking care not to beat yourself up whenever you make a mistake and, at the same time, not becoming so arrogantly close minded that you shut out the message and the messenger who has been sent to teach you a thing or two about yourself.<\/p>\n<p>As tricky as it can be to balance both sides of the equation of self-esteem, it\u2019s refreshing too. Knowing that self-esteem and humility are necessary partners in your life gives you permission to honor the wonderful in you AND honor what is still waiting to be awakened.<\/p>\n<p>Truth is often a paradox, and that both of these states can coexist within us at the same time\u2014the wonderful and the as-yet-unawakened\u2014is one of life\u2019s greatest truths.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Zen of Self-Esteem<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The Zen masters knew a thing or two about the tricky paradox of self-esteem. The teacher Shunryu Suzuki simply expressed it this way to his students:\u00a0 <em><strong>\u201cAll of you are perfect just as you are . . . and you could use a little improvement.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0 <\/em>(I don&#8217;t know about you, but that makes me smile and I see a playful twinkle in Suzuki&#8217;s eyes as he said that.)<\/p>\n<p>I found the same sentiment put another way in a novel I read recently by Michael Koryta, where one of his characters, a high school football coach, talked about the balancing act this way:\u00a0 <em>\u201cThe attitude you needed to win football games was a difficult balance. Confidence was crucial; overconfidence killed. Success lived on the blade\u2019s edge between.\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n<p>In the game of life, it\u2019s no different, is it?<br \/>\n<strong><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><br \/>\nSome tips for the balancing act:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>If your pride (your ego) is hurt, acknowledge that and try this: <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">Ask yourself<em><\/em><strong>:<em><\/em><\/strong> Would I do better and feel better if I admitted that I have something to learn in this relationship, professional setting, or way of interacting with others?<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">If so, what specific advice is this situation trying to teach me so I can become better at navigating situations like this?<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">Stand up, close your eyes, spread your arms as wide as you can, and consciously open to the message or lesson waiting for you. What do you hear or see?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><em><br \/>\nIf, on the other hand, you feel yourself melting into a puddle from the heat of your own self-criticism, try this:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Remind yourself that the problem that\u2019s happening right now does not define who you are. The labels people have given you\u2014and the negative names you may call yourself\u2014are <em>not<\/em> the real you.<\/li>\n<li>Imagine a line on the floor, the fine line of self-esteem separating self-condemnation on one side and arrogance on the other. Physically take a step to stand right on that line as a way of reinforcing to yourself that you choose to wake up to the inner reality that is you and get back into balance.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><em>Share your ideas here. How do you remind yourself of the paradoxical truth that you are wonderful AND you still have some things to learn? <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Self-esteem\u2019s a funny thing\u2014a fine balancing act. You\u2019ve got to believe you are wonderful just as you (because you are) AND you\u2019ve got to keep on trying to improve yourself (because you can reach higher and be more). That\u2019s perhaps the ultimate razor\u2019s edge of life\u2014balancing confidence with humility. Knowing when to stand up for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[65,7,106,18,1,102],"tags":[133,123,57,10,4,52,11],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1132"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1132"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1148,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1132\/revisions\/1148"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.practicalspirituality.info\/inneressentials\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}