What’s Your Self-Esteem Quotient?

Patricia Spadaro — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:53:40 +0000

Your sense of self-worth—how you value yourself, your innate value, and your gifts—guides your life. It determines how others see you and treat you, what kind of people show up in your life, how you act and react. Your self-esteem determines how you make choices and set priorities moment by moment, every day.

What does it mean to “esteem”? Here are some definitions: As a noun, “esteem” means: worth or value. The verb “to esteem” means: to set a high value on; regard highly and prize as such; to regard with admiration and respect; to honor. Self-esteem, then, is self-respect—to value yourself and prize yourself as valued.

But what does self-esteem really look like? That’s the challenge that was set before me by the folks at Beliefnet.com, who asked me to come up with a quiz to help people get a better idea of their own sense of self-worth. The result: a self-esteem quiz based on core concepts in my book Honor Yourself: The Inner Art of Giving and Receiving.

How did I come up with the quiz? First, I looked at my own challenges. Over the years, I’ve definitely had to work on honoring myself—on prizing myself enough to stand up for myself and my priorities (and I’m still working on honing that skill—hence my book on that topic!). Next, I started to open my eyes and observe more closely the healthy and not-so-healthy reactions of others in the down-to-earth, everyday situations we all face. It’s how we handle these daily decisions that reflect how much we really honor ourselves.

If you want to get practical about what self-esteem looks like (and doesn’t), try the quiz for yourself here.

I’d love to hear if there was anything in the quiz that turned on a lightbulb for you about your self-esteem and self-worth. What did you get inspired to do—or be—more of?

Did you learn something new about yourself?
Did you see any new patterns that you didn’t realize were there before?
Did you make any new decisions about how you are going to act and react? What are they?

10 Tips for Coping with Criticism

Patricia Spadaro — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:05:27 +0000

“Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic.”
—Jean Sibelius, Finnish composer (1865 –1957)

We all get hit by life’s slings and arrows from time to time. These can come from a resident critic—a family member, friend, or coworker who always finds something wrong—or as an occasional put down that catches you by surprise. What do you do when an insult is hurled your way, privately or publicly? Do you pretend you didn’t hear it or hurl an insult right back? Do you internalize it or get angry and lash out . You may not be able to stop someone’s nasty words or careless actions, but you can change how you deal with those barbs. They don’t have to take you down or tempt you to retaliate.

Try these 10 healthy and empowering tips to meet insults and criticism gracefully and appropriately.

We’d love to have you join the conversation. What tips and tricks have helped you cope with criticism?

The Patricia Spadaro blog ~ Inner Essentials » self-esteem

What’s Your Self-Esteem Quotient?

10 Tips for Coping with Criticism